SAHM vs FTWM

Prior to motherhood, I had always enjoyed working (more than schooling!). Not so much because of the work itself, but mainly because it is a sense of achievement and satisfaction one derived from accomplishing certain goals at work. Maybe it is the competitive streak in me that wants to be the best I can be.

 

But lots have changed ever since pregnancy to motherhood. This March, I quit my full time job at RW and decided to become a Stay-At-Home-Mother (SAHM). Somewhat. I knew that I am not suited to be a “full-fledge” SAHM as I do not excel in household chores and baby minding. And on top of it, a dual income family enjoys more financial freedom. Thus, the decision to venture into property – I became an estate agent. Armed with a honours degree in real estate, I decided to tackle this full commission-based but flexible hours job.

 

Probably the decision came easy because I had such a tough pregnancy that I want to give my best (time) to my son. I am not so sure if I would have done the same if I had an easy going pregnancy. Previously, I had always admired friends/cousin who willingly left their jobs to concentrate on taking care/educating their young kids. This is very often a comprise in social interaction and finances in many middle-income families. BUT now I totally understand why they made the choice – The rewards totally outweigh the sacrifices!

 

Many of my Full-Time-Working-Mothers (FTWM) friends lament that they missed the milestones of their children. The first crawl, the first waving of hands, the first step, the first word, the first clap and etc. And hearing the milestones are just so different from witnessing them yourself. I knew I don’t want to hear; I want to be part of it!

Of course, the FTWM have their own woes – mostly $ driven which I can’t deny is a very critical survival factor in this society. It is probably a very tough decision.

 

But being a SAHM definitely have its own drawbacks too. Everyday is about the same – wake up (very early mostly), feed, burp, wash, change. And the cycle just kept repeating itself. When the baby becomes a toddler, then the headache is to find things for them to play (to exhaust their energy) before their nap. All these can be fun if you just do it for a few days. But when days become weeks and months, it can really be a test of patience and energy. It is easier if you have help (another pair of hands) but I knew of some friends who simply coped on their own. Thinking back – I really do not know how our mothers did it!

 

On the grandmothers’ topic – they are just amazing! I am able to work flexibly now because of the great help my mum gave me. Sometimes, I think she is physically much stronger than I am. And of course, she is also like an octopus! She can wash, cook, mop, watch baby and etc all together! And it is amazing she is still sane at the end of the day! Kudos to all grandmothers and my mum especially! 🙂

 

So what am I actually. I am a hybrid. A SAHM cum FTWM! I am happy to be part of Xi En’s growing up years and yet glad that I can keep in touch with work and earn some pocket money. It is probably the best arrangement at this stage. Though definitely $ is less than before, the joy of being there outweighs it out.

Recalling what my cousin shared with me – I want to be there when he still wants me. 🙂

 

2 happy faces

 

“For what will profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his own soul.” Mark 8:36

 

 

Disclaimer:  This is just Eve babbling away on a rainy day.. Nothing against any SAHM or FTWM. Enjoy your role whatever choice you made. 🙂

Mummies’ Talk

I was having a msn chat with a good friend – Juner – recently and out of that chat we discovered we shared common weird obsessions regarding our babies.

 

 

1) Iwannagohomeandsmellthebabies – That’s Juner’s msn liner and very often mine when I am out working. We share a common weakness for the smell of our babies! Yes, drool, poo, sweat and all. haaa… I also knew a Daddy who is also “addicted” to the smell of babies – that he goes around “stealing” the smell of babies whenever he sees one. We joked that we might need some rehabilitation here!

 

2) Swift-er ears – We pride ourselves as having swift/long ears which can pick up our babies’ smallest whimper from miles away. We like to think that mummies hear, smell, react and know best. hahha… some big female ego here.

 

3) Smelling the rosebud butt – I thought I was the only one who does this…. And then I found a like-minded person! We are the official “smell-er” at home. The one who is task to smell the little bottoms if they poo-ed. Weirdly, some amount of cheap achievement is derived out of ace-ing the correct “divination” when the poo is revealed. 😀

 

4) Observing the poo – That’s another fun thing to do! hahhaa … We love observing that lumpy, gluey, mushy stuff that appears on the diapers. To ascertain if that carrot, sweet corn or spinach had been successful digested! And if not, we will try to play sleuth to discover which suspects didn’t get digested.

 

 That were about all we managed to muse about within the short chat. 🙂 Till future chats and discoveries. 🙂 🙂

 

P.S: One of Xi En’s “in the act” – We are still struggling to get him to sit still on the potty!

 

poo poo

And He had a GREAT fall …..

Xi En had his first fall (and hopefully last!!) a few days back. And it was largely my fault! Sigh… I wanted to rest on our cushiony big king size bed and so decided to let Xi En have his afternoon nap beside me. I woke up earlier and left the room with pillows and bolsters surrounding him as we had always done so.

Lo and behold, when we let down our guards, that’s when the accident happened! Mum, Kim and I were all in the living room and we heard a loud cry quite unlike his usual cry. I ran into our bedroom and found Xi En face down on the floor!!!!! I scooped him up immediately and he was in the most pathetic, scared and in-shock look I have ever seen.

 

My hands were shivering and my heart was pounding 100 times faster than usual. I felt so terribly guilty that I had allowed him to sleep on our custom-made 3.5 feet high bed frame/mattress. God’s protection must have really been on Xi En. Save for the shock and an initial bump on his left head/face, he was ok. We believed that he must have “flew” down with the bolster when he woke up and started crawling towards the edge of the bed.

 

Never.. never again..I told myself that we are going to allow him to be alone on our bed. It was a bad scare and lesson learnt! So now.. We created a safer corner on the floor for Xi En to sleep:

 

IMG_0705 

We have probably changed Xi En sleeping’s location for at least X times ever since he came home from the hospital:

 

1) Big cot placed in the living room for naps

2) Petite bassinet/play pen next to our bed

3) In between us on a baby mattress when he was really tiny

4) Yao-Lan (baby rocker) – Xi En’s favourite! (And ours too – ‘cos it allows him to nap really really looongggg!)

5) Big cot moved next to our bed (Didn’t last too long ‘cos our baby is really tall and loves to roll around the bed)

6) Two mattresses placed on the floor – our safest bet for now. He has since outgrew the yao-lan when he learnt how to flip and kick himself out of the net!

yaolan 

For a while, we were thinking how we can wean him off the yaolan as he seemed too used to the rocking motion. But thankfully, he adapted quite well when we put him on the big mattresses. 🙂

Xi En has really grown taller and older – He is turning ONE tomorrow!!!!! It’s amazing how time really flies! 🙂