29th April 2016
Today marks the 10th wedding anniversary for Kim and me. But it seemed like yesterday that we fell in love, stayed in love and married each other.
I am not one who is good with numbers so more often than not, Kim is the one who reminds me how many years we knew each other, our Nth wedding anniversary and etc.
It probably doesn’t matter that much to me because I know that this is one man I will stay married and committed to; so I lost count. hehe… good excuse.
This is part of a blog train “This is how I met your Father” hosted by one of the mummy bloggers, Michelle, in my blogging network. Hopping on to share a personal love story as it etches onto my memory and I hope that my 2 boys will read about it one day especially when they reach the I-don’t-want-to-talk-to-you-teenagehood-years.
Boys, this is how I met your Dad.
We were junior college mates to begin with. Kim was in the Science faculty while I was in the Commerce faculty. Our paths seldom cross until we were elected into the 19th Student Council (SC). In 1996, we were merely SC friends and being in different faculties, we seldom talked except in groups in the student council room. His initial impression of me was horrible to say the least. I was this obnoxious, irritating, BOSSY and arrogant Executive-Committee member who likes to boss people around and stick my head into discussions. Admittedly, I was probably over zealous in too many things during college days.
And my first impression of him is : I can’t remember anything of him! hahaha! Except when I tried very hard to recall, there was this very normal incident when all the SC members had to build a “ghost house” for a funfair; he was one of the guys who went to buy bamboo poles together. And that’s it. Zero impression.
|I don’t know why we looked so dishevelled here! I think it was when we were rehearsing for a cheerleading act.
But this is one of the rare photos we took before we were attached.
IMPRESS UPON ME
In Year 2 of college days, we had more interaction as we approach the end of our term as student councillors. He became more prominent because of his musical and leadership skills. He was taking the lead in bigger student events and suddenly his guitar and music skills came into use when the SC were organising chapel worship sessions (we were in a Christian college). What made me noticed him was that everyone was asking him to teach them guitar. He is good at his skills but irritating as a guitar teacher because he “motivates” by showing you the hardest pieces first. He still is the same now except that I gave up learning guitar from him! So, my dear sons, learn a musical instrument if you want to impress girls.
We stepped down from SC in the mid of Year 2 and it was an extremely emotional stage. Using his music-writing skills, Kim wrote a parting song for all of us at SC and we cried buckets of tears as we celebrate the friendships built within the SC and with the entire student cohort. That’s another story by itself. But all those months was the built-up to the start of a relationship between us. Actually I can’t remember the details of how feelings between us emerged. But we knew it all started from friendships.
I remembered there was a school camp which we were organising and we stayed overnight together with many others. That night, he indicated that he had some feelings for another girl (!!!!!) and me (!!!!!). hahaa…. the peak of teenage-manhood!? I was like…ok … so how… it became a little awkward initially. I didn’t like love triangles –not my kind of thing. Shortly after that night, he sorted out his thoughts and feelings. He called me one night and told me one long story of A,B and C. Till today, he is one good story teller. I fell for it and am still falling for his stories!
Few days later, he was sending me home from school. I stayed really far away from school – about 1.5 hours of bus ride to reach home. He took good advantage of the long journey and we talked and talked. I cannot remember the minute details (memories are failing me!). I only remembered I held his hands in acknowledgement of his confessions and we were a “couple” after that bus ride home. He held my hands tight; almost afraid I will regret and let go! Kim specifically recorded the momentous date – 31st July 1997. Interestingly, our first son was born on 31st July 2009 – 12 years later! “God-incidences”?
MARATHON LOVE JOURNEY
Thinking back, I was like – Isn’t 18/19 years old kind of young??!! If my son tells me at 18 years old that he has a girlfriend, I might demand to meet the girl immediately! haha. Protective-mom on full alert!
But it did kind of felt right then.
Our relationship was not without hiccups along the way. We are possibly poles apart in our likes and dislikes, interest and hobbies. Kim is quiet(er) than me, introvert and more action-less-word kind of person. He enjoys (English) music, playing his guitar, learning new instruments, Maths and Sciences, general knowledge. I am loud, talkative, impatient and cannot-sit-still-type. I enjoy socialising, chatting with friends, food and (Mandarin) songs, drama serials. But it seemed that opposites do attract! We built similarities and common interests and friends over the years. Most importantly we shared the same faith which is the foundation of our relationship and later on, marriage.
Being involved with each other’s lives helped in the continuation of our boy-girl relationship. After my graduation, I decided to join Singapore Airlines as a flight stewardess. Many church friends were not for it and cited this could possibly be a break-up point in our relationship. But Kim was very supportive and asked me to pursue my “dream”. Together, we went through his 2.5 years of army, 1 year of overseas working trip, 3 to 6 months of overseas school programmes and my 2 years of SQ life. The truth is we almost decided to part ways twice in our 9 years of relationship, but thankfully we never did.
|Since the Korean drama DOTS is very trendy now, here’s one of us in his army days. – Circa Year 1998|
MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN THE SACRED LAND
Nearing the 8th year of our relationship, we knew that we were ready to take the relationship to the next stage. He secretly planned and executed a marriage proposal when we were in Israel on a church trip. I honestly never see it coming! And I always thought I will be able to guess when he will propose! I knew he was going to propose one day; but I just didn’t expect it there and then and in a foreign land. He managed to borrow a guitar, wrote and sang a compelling song where he tricked me into saying YES in order to complete the song! He brought along a ring to accompany the whole action. How to say no lah. After the whole episode, he told me he just wanted to get rid of the ring because he was worried of losing it during the trip! So he “got rid of it” on my finger!!
AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER …….
We got married in church on 29th April 2006. Kim wrote an English cum Mandarin song because he knew my preferences. Here’s a blog post I wrote few years back with a video clip of the song he composed: http://www.claudedambreville.com/2013/04/29/i-wanna-spend-my-life-with-you-2/
No marriage comes with a fairy-tale ending. But that’s what make life interesting. We can chat about almost anything and yet also appreciate silence when needed. And it is true that opposites attract! We filled up the gaps in each other lives. He is the rational, logical and pragmatic one whereas I am the spontaneous, chatty and emotional half. He is our finance and strategy director while I am the events and activities coordinator.
Today marks our 10th wedding anniversary. It is definitely not sun and roses everyday in our relationship and marriage; we have our fair share of quarrels, tears and getting mad days. But I am thankful that I found a man whom I can depend on for life – my friend, my husband and my love.
And just for my husband whose love language is words of affirmation, here are 10 reasons why I love this man:
1) He washes the toilets. I never ever need to wash any toilets in my life because I don’t like it. I will always take other chores such as washing dishes or mopping the floor over washing toilets. Save cleaning airplane toilets, I never need to wash our house’s toilets because Kim volunteers willingly. (I did break the records recently when the helper went back for home leave and the man is very busy)
2) 9 out of 10 times, I get to shower first when we reached home. He knows I don’t like to sit waiting for the shower. Very mundane thing, but a small act of consideration goes a long way.
3) He carries my bag. I know some are in disagreement on this. But I find it a gentlemanly act to help the girl carry her things/bags. One of the reasons I fell for him – He carried my books! If you are my era, you might remembered there was a trend of using elastic bands to tie our books together and carry them on our hands instead of in the bags. Kim always helped me with my tied-up books. Checked.
4) He indulge me in the good things and provides for the family. Love alone cannot fill the stomach ya? He is known to be thrifty on his own expenses. But he will buy the best for me, the family and our extended families.
5) He allows me to eat! Ok, not too excessively! But he knows I enjoy my food. He did try to change me in the earlier days as he is the practical sort and subscribe to the “eat to live” thinking rather than “live to eat”. I belong to the latter and he soon learnt that almost nothing comes between me and my (yummy) food. hehehe.
6) He listens to me. Since we knew each other, we can talk and talk into the wee hours; even to the point of silence (when one of us fell asleep on the phone!). Till today, I am glad that he listens to me and my suggestions. Very often, that’s all women wants – to be heard?
7) He humours me. In the literal meaning, he has a sarcastic sense of humour. And he makes effort to laugh at my jokes/actions to humour me.
8) He sings and play the guitar well. They say that music stirs the heart. And blessed with a good voice, he can be kind of charming when he sings.
9) He is the problem solver. Maybe it’s a man’s thing and a Godly man’s thing. Whether it’s a business problem I faced or the choked water pipe which needs fixing, he is my go-to person; not the plumber. hehe. I strongly believe the head of the household needs to be a good handyman too!
10) Last but not least, he loves me despite of all. And he never fails to remind me I won’t be able to find a person like him who can withstand my stubborn nature and loves me more than him. He’s probably right. hahaha.
Xi En and Eizac, if you are reading this in the future, learn a trick or 2 from your Dad. I hope you won’t start a relationship as early as Daddy and Mummy because we know the struggles of a marathon relationship. But I pray that when you are ready, you will learn to be a man who can be depended on, just like your Daddy. On the romantic part, ask your Mummy for tips.
And to my friend of 20 years and husband of 10 years, Kim, Happy Sweet 10th Anniversary! Here’s to infinity.
This is part of a blog train “How I met your Father” hosted by The Chill Mom
Tomorrow we have Janice Wong from Mishmashmess
“I am a very exhausted full time working mom (FTWM), wife, crafter, blogger and educator who does everything just because she loves her family. I treasure this life which I have and do my utmost best to carve out as much as possible.”
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